Life in a song 9

SILENCE...

Sometimes I'm certain that I will forever live in a cloud of too much...
...Too much heart, too much love, too much hurt... Too much pain.

The song I'm completely in love with right now is that of silence...
Silence... quiet yet full of sound...
The silence where I plug into my thoughts and play them on full blast
The silence where I am the cellist,the audience and the curtain closer...

Just me...
I have to cradle this song like a baby...
It is my personal metaphor... Actually a simile cos I used "like"...
{Oh} it can't even be just "like" cos a few months in I got to "love"

Verse 4 of this song says that I should commend myself for going there... For giving it what I have....
.. But now I think it'd be so much easier to know the stakes before getting into a battle...
Cos sometimes the odds are stacked in our favour and sometimes they aren't
... Sometimes we fight wars not knowing we've already lost...

Ur wondering how I'm already at verse four?
This song is special cos I can skip the parts I don't like... Repeat the bits I love...

Its raining outside... My life... a pathetic fallacy...
Or does that only apply to shakespeare?

The beginning of this song says I should have known better... That I could've remained detached... That the baggage was always too big for me to carry... And that even if I'd managed.. I'd always be huffing and puffing...
...emotionally asthmatic?

The ending harmony suggests that the butterflies have moved on...
Am I the only one who wonders where they've gone?Or is there another stage of metamorphosis that they don't tell us about in the science books?
... Perhaps they hibernate till ur ready for the smells and taste and sound of life again...
...Or maybe the butterflies really just fly away...

The echoes of the past come tinkering through the precious quiet...
...Remembrances...
...A joke, a hug, a meal, an utterance...I let them in... And then let them go...

My pain calls... shattering the precious silence... I pick up... Listen...and hang up...
I have used up all my words...
I am just a mass of air, water and feeling
There really is nothing left to say... I have used up all my words

The chorus of this song is a whisper...
Of hope... Of faith...
Its a glimmer... Of light...
... I will laugh again... With my very soul.

The truth is always in the heart of the maze. There is no point going in search of it... It always finds its way home...
I now KNOW:
What remains when you empty your pride and free ur spirit to deal... is......
THE TRUTH..

Some of my truth came from the truth of generations of women before me... Women who gave everything so I wouldn't have to...

Some of my truth came directly from my mother who has cried enough tears to cover me for a lifetime....

Some of my truth came from God... One day I was just soo weary inside that I wore a black suit, went to church and just asked him to help me...

Some of my truth came from friends who fight for me...

Its my personal truth that carried me on its wings above hurt and the pain of human expectation and subsequent failure...
Its my personal truth that held my hands and patted my back and helped me cry the tears that have refused to fall...
Its my personal truth that kept me standing tall and unwilling to buckle...
Its my personal truth that gave me the strength to close the door...
Its my personal truth that kept me hanging on to me.... The woman I know and love with every fiber of me ...

I am learning me and unlearning him...
...And sleeping in grannies...
Bliss

After all the silence, however... what is the consequence of sound?

Life in a song 8

What is the song you listen to when your heart has been broken into 56 little pieces?
Anita didn't cover this one... neither did Ray Charles...
What if it's not in Billie's discography... or Ms. Morentes?

Is there a prescription for this kind of pain?
...actually maybe it'd be better to ask for an antidote...

How do you go from being the brightest star in the sky to being bottled in a glowstick?
...and how do you learn to fly again...

In the midst of comedy and bright colours... you see storms and impenetrable darkness...
No one... nothing ever prepares one for this...

NOTHING

People have so much power... and the sad thing is... they use it.
one-off, two-off... doesn't matter... somethings still off.

If you empty your mind, let go of your pride, free your spirit to deal...
WHAT REMAINS?!

I've figured it out...

We need the sun to flourish
sun... and conversation

I need to leave the hurt
... and disillusion

I know u... you know me...
and for now its gonna be three

If i really wanted to talk about it...

I'd say that I'm really upset, hurt and surprised by actions taken today
...but I won't..

I'd say that it might be better for you if you could look inward and see what you're doing wrong
...but I won't...

I'd say that you're making a lot of mistakes in succession
...but I won't...

I'd say much much more...
But I don't really want to talk about it

In the motherland

So i have been in Nigeria for over a week... eaten more food than should be legal... I really dont want to get anyone jealous but....
Ugba, point and kill fish, suya, ewedu soup with amala, roasted yam, roasted corn, akamu, peanuts and garri(lol), vegetable soup, okro soup, chicken suya, mr biggs, tantalizers... to mention a few...

Clubbed soo much I can actually count the number 0f days Ive slept home...
coliseum, auto lounge, page nightclub, metro park, insomnia, aqua 27, the grotto...

To Eleko beach and ate the hugest prawns u could ever imagine... prawns and orange vodka.. best combination EVER!!!

sleeping in a beachhouse where u can hear the waves... HEAVEN!!!

Will be back to update more... LOVe u guys...

New Jewellry

I have had such a hectic week with school... one thing due after the other... I've been working on no sleep, 5 hour energy drinks and caffeine.
Things are winding down... though I still have some exams coming up... it shouldnt be as bad for the next few weeks
...plus I have my trip to Nigeria to look forward to...

Having said that, after a women studies exam today, I was at the right place at the time.

At a not-so-obvious store around my area, I found a ring I've been looking for FOR-MONTHS!!!

Discounted from over $200, I got this knuckle ring for ONLY $50!!!
I snatched it up so fast I think the salesgirl wished she'd priced it for twice as much.. the odd thing is I would have paid that.

Pardon the chipped polish... when one has no time to sleep.. reapplying polish is usually the least of ones worries

I also got these turquoise really cute earrings... and I never wear earrings other than my swarovski studs.

So my total count of earrings =2
terrible right?

I HAVE GREATTT NEWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I'M GOING ON A VACATION IN THREE WEEKS!!!
... to NIGERIA!!!!!!!!!!

Words can't express how excited I am... cos this is actually actually actually going to happen...
the best part of it is a couple of my friends from Canada are going with me.. so its going to be like 2008 England all over again(6 of us went on a 3 or so week vacation about the same time last year)

I'm 'stutteringly' excited... chei
suya for 3 weeks
point and kill fish for 3 weeks
no sleepless nights studying for chemistry labs and writing english explications for 3 weeks
changing my hair every 4 days (just cos I can) for 3 weeks
speaking broken english in my dreams for 3 weeks
showing my sexier belly and wearing bikinis in the places that will permit me for 3 weeks
going to church on a sunday for that naija praise and worship that you simply cant get anywhere else... for 3 weeks
clubbing from midnight till 6am for 5 days out of the week... for 3 weeks
catching up with old friends... wearing flip flops and sunglasses... drinking star beer and gordon spark... for 3 weeks
not using an alarm or the snooze button for 3 weeks
did i mention SUYA for 3 weeks...

I'm also going to reach Ghana for a few days as 2 of my closest friends are on an extended vacation there... and if time permits I'll go see my other friend in Angola as well...
...oh the great life of the african vacationer..

I really should be studying as I have a chemistry lab to do in a few hours... but this is just too exciting not to share IMMEDIATELY!!!

I can already see myself walking to the airport, checking in my bags, getting on the plane... chai my soul is no longer in this CANADA again oh... na only body remain...

Having said that...
All of u that will remain in the European and North American freezers you find yourself in over those 3 weeks.. accept my condolences i mean apologies in advance
...Feel free to jealous me...
hehe
(If you are especially nice to me... I might just send u a couple pictures of me at various suya joints accross the nation... lol)

crap... whatever will i pack?!?!
oh and I realize it's april fools day... yay! prank time!!!